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Class__ 


Book 




Copyright N" 


copyright deposit. 































































































THE 

FLOWER 

OF 

FRIENDSHIP 


Edith 

Marguerite 

Batdorf 




THE FLOWER OF 
FRIENDSHIP 


EDITH MARGUERITE BATDORF 



Publishers DORRANCE Philadelphia 

C c GO* 


















COPYRIGHT 1922 
DORRANCE & COMPANY INC 





DEC -7 1922 

MANUFACTURED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 

©C1A690491 

V« J 


To my Mother and my Father 
whose unfailing confidence has 
been my inspiration. 






























THE 

FLOWER 

OF 

FRIENDSHIP 






The Flower of Friendship 

Keep It Blooming 

Friendship is the light of pure inspira¬ 
tion that illumines our pathway through 
life. It is the mist against a flower- 
gemmed hill, reflecting the glories that lie 
just beyond. It is the veiled radiance of 
stars, the shifting splendor of silvery 
seas, the healing balm of twilight silences. 
Each time a new phase of friendship is 
revealed to us we feel the sweetly com¬ 
pelling influence of an uplifting sense 
and, with swift impulse, we reach out to 
undreamed and exalted heights. For the 
magic of friendship—in its highest spirit¬ 
ual conception—never spends itself, never 
fails to inspire, never doubts, never palls. 
In its varied forms are possessed all the 
love and all the faith and all the joy and 
all the hope that serve to make our lives 
worth effort. In youth it is a constant 
9 


10 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


stimulant to greater activity. In middle 
life its permanent strength of beauty first 
makes its appeal. In age it is a silent 
companion—looking back with us through 
the years that lie fragrant with memories. 
***** 

THE BOND ETERNAL 

To the Friendship John Burroughs Still 
Shares With Thomas A. Edison, 

H. S. Firestone and 
Henry Ford 

They took his hand, he led them— 
Through the gateway of dreams, 

Along the rainbow trail 

Where roses, wild, tangle their masses 

With the silver and green of summer; 

Where fairies, sprinkled with star-dust, 

Dance minuets 

Down moonlit slopes 

That sweep to wave-washed sands; 

Entranced, they followed— 

Where pastures, blooming and pink, 

And the sky are friends; 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 11 


They sped to hill-tops, 

They breathed cool colors—cool, frail 
colors, 

Flung high and low; 

He showed them a lily, 

White—like Truth, 

Silvered by moonlight. 

A world felt sense of loss : 

Spring trailed the hills, 

And in the first blue violet 
Three friends beheld his face,— 
Oommuned with him 
Each time that nature smiled. 

***** 

It is during the years when we are 
blessed with the splendid privilege of 
close association with our friends that we, 
consciously or unconsciously, are storing 
up good things for old age. Words and 
actions of great beauty and worth are 
leaving their imprint on our busy minds; 
and some time in later years—some time 
perhaps long after we are separated from 


12 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


most of our loved ones—these treasures 
that we have laid away will be tenderly 
brought to light and viewed in our declin¬ 
ing years. If you would be kindly remem¬ 
bered then, start now on your mission of 
planting thought-jewels which some day 
will be discovered tucked away in the rosy 
mists of memory. 

* * * * * 

Be ambitious for the success of your 
friends. One’s determination to reach a 
set goal is often notably lessened or 
greatly strengthened by the attitude of 
the friend who has been made a confidant. 
A friend’s ambition may be directed to 
success in one of the arts or in a profes¬ 
sion, your ignorance of which prevents a 
close observation of his development. 
But the permanent expression of your 
faith in his hidden powers, faith in his 
ability, faith in his ultimate success, may 
be the inspiration that will tide him safely 
over those unhappy lapses when faith in 
himself is at low ebb. 



FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 13 


A friendship approximates perfection 
only when the partners can communicate 
without the stimulating effect of sight and 
sound. Do not allow distance, however 
great, to lessen the strength and beauty 
of a friendship. Mails perform no 
greater service than that of keeping in¬ 
tact precious friendships, though the per¬ 
sons concerned sometimes do not meet in 
years or in a lifetime. You are depressed 
by the commonplaceness of daily routine 
—then you receive from! some distant 
friend a letter which thrills you with the 
realization that you have been remem¬ 
bered, touches you with the recollection 
of loved association, reveals to you a new 
beauty in this unity of life. Your friends, 
too, are pleased when the receipt of a 
letter proves your desire for the continu¬ 
ity of a cherished friendship. Write, 
often. 

***** 

Like the permanence of mountains true 
friendship is unchanging, with endless 


14 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


resources of inspiration. You think you 
know a friend—his personality, his 
moods, his varied elements of attraction. 
Yet when you meet him again you behold 
a swift unfolding of fresh beauty of char¬ 
acter that stirs and inspires you. If you 
would possess this priceless personal 
charm, then cultivate true beauty of soul 
and you will set irradiating, flashes of 
inspiration that will endear you to all 
friends. 

***** 

Do not make demands upon a friend’s 
time merely because he is not involved in 
another engagement. Observation will 
prove that it is our friends who reserve 
a period of silence each day, for mental 
improvement, relaxation and the regain¬ 
ing of poise, who are prepared to offer 
us real food for thought. The hurried, 
excited person whose mind is cluttered 
with a riot of half-f ormed things acquired 
during the rush of a noisy day is a poor 
companion. An occasional atmosphere 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 15 


of rest is essential if we would be a source 
of learning to good friends. 

***** 

One’s thoughts of and actions toward 
those whom he regards as his friends are 
actuated by love, sympathy and a desire 
to be of service. In proportion to the 
growth of this attitude toward people, in 
the same degree that selfish desires are 
displaced by unselfish motives, will one’s 
circle of friends be enlarged. A friendly 
thought finds expression, inspiring the 
same thought in others. Care always 
should be stressed never to appear in the 
light of a “fair-weather” friend. When 
our way is lit by sunshine and good cheer 
we are not in urgent need of our friends’ 
kindly deeds and words of comfort. But 
—when shadows overcast our lives— 
there is no grief that is not made lighter 
by the ready sympathy and companion¬ 
ship of loyal friends. Open your soul to 
all those with whom you share friend¬ 
ships. Let your words give a lift to the 


16 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


discouraged. Display a magnificent faith 
in those who doubt themselves. Allow 
the sorrows of others to touch you to 
tears. And your life will be blessed with 
friendships beautiful beyond analysis. 

***** 

JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY’S 
FRIENDS: 

His Readers 

They looked upon the glare of printed 
pages 

And magic visions lulled their earthly 
sight, 

Until, like birds escaped from prison 
cages, 

Their senses rose and ranged in paths 
of light. 

’Twas there they found him roaming in 
the wildwood; 

And closely did they watch his fancies 
leap, 



FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 17 


Until they knew his moods from simple 
childhood 

To those that delve in sweet, eternal 
sleep. 

They drifted with the current of his 
dreaming 

On through imagination’s glowing mist, 

To find a well of inspiration, gleaming 

With store the poet’s mind could not 
resist. 

Ofttimes they’ve seen him lounge ’mid 
flowery masses 

While countless nymphs in circles 
’round him sped; 

And close they followed by the fragrant 
grasses 

To glimpse along with him Pan’s forest 
bed. 

And where swift fairy feet green paths 
race over, 

Out where the starlit fields brink sum¬ 
mer streams, 


18 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


A friendship blossomed forth like scented 
clover 

To hold the portals open to his dreams. 

As still they meet him there to share his 
pleasures, 

They wonder if perchance some sunny 
clime 

He’d planned to roam in search of hidden 
treasures, 

But failed to find the pathway quite in 
time. 

***** 

It is not advisable to carry to a very ad¬ 
vanced stage a friendship with a person 
for whom a little child holds no appeal. 
One so self-centered and unappreciative 
can possess but few if any of the qualities 
essential to an ideal friendship. If one is 
not impressed by childhood’s untarnished 
beauty of mind, then his perceptions are 
so dulled that your own endeavors for 
mental purity and advancement would 
pass unrespected, unnoticed. If he does 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 19 


not feel impelled, even momentarily, to 
gladden a little child’s heart, he could 
never experience a desire to hold consider¬ 
ate thought for you. If he cares not to 
carry with him the pleasant memory of a 
delightful association with fresh, spon¬ 
taneous youth, then he would fail to be 
sufficiently impressed by your own quali¬ 
ties of character to retain any memory 
of his associations with you. An indi¬ 
vidual of this type has little to offer in 
friendship’s name. A person blessed with 
a disposition just the reverse—one who 
follows closely the trend of childish 
thought, with an abundance of tolerance 
and sympathy for the viewpoint of youth, 
no matter how great or how numerous his 
faults—possesses a store of rare beauty 
of thought and is a friend well-chosen. 

***** 

Probably one of the most useless pur¬ 
suits indulged in by friends is that of 
religious argument. A great many per- 


20 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


sons who are emphatic in their declara¬ 
tions of approval concerning freedom of 
thought, at the least provocation will 
plunge without restraint into arguments 
on the subject of religion; displaying their 
views, and advancing information which 
they regard as proof that their beliefs are 
authentic, in a determined effort to alter 
and dent religious beliefs of others. The 
result of this stupendous expenditure of 
energy, almost without exception, is that 
opinions which the arguments were de¬ 
signed to change—complacently remain 
uninfluenced. Quite frequently another 
result is that sensitive natures are injured 
by words which would not have been 
employed had the conversation continued 
to flow through peaceful channels; but 
which, for the purpose of hurriedly or 
forcibly gaining a point, were rushed into 
utterance. To debate is to sharpen one’s 
wits and develop one’s ability definitely 
to mold and give accurate expression to 
opinions. But it is advisable, especially 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 21 


among people whose intimacy is a thing 
to be protected and when the desire for 
argument demands gratification, to choose 
a topic entirely foreign to religious mat¬ 
ters. Most people of mature years have 
definite, well-established beliefs regard¬ 
ing this subject. And each individual is 
entitled to that privilege. Cultivate vast 
tolerance for the views of others and, 
because you are possessor of this breadth 
of vision, you will prove yourself the help¬ 
ful confidant of many friends who would 
not feel free to entrust their affairs to 
you were yours a limited understanding. 
***** 

Willingness to oblige a friend is a trait 
of character that is highly commendable. 
But often the inclination to serve is im¬ 
posed upon and one is requested to per¬ 
form acts wholly distasteful to his wishes 
and as contrary to his sense of justice. 
On such an occasion the only proper 
course is to render a candid refusal to 
comply with the request. No action that 


22 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


is a violation of the laws governed by con¬ 
science, even though it appears to be the 
sole alternative for the accomplishment 
of a lofty purpose, should be given 
consideration. Sometimes a person with 
a dominating personality accosts some 
friend, who is less forceful and lacking in 
moral courage, with the suggestion that 
certain plans of doubtful merit be exe¬ 
cuted. In many cases the obliging party 
suffers remorse while the real promoter 
of the act escapes, blameless. Be em¬ 
phatic when dealing with friends who are 
prone to unprincipled action. Courte¬ 
ously, but firmly, impress upon their 
minds the fact that you are master of 
your own movements and that the per¬ 
forming of any deed that is not sanctioned 
by your sense of fairness will not even be 
contemplated by you. You may lose 
friends; but, in view of the circumstances, 
losing them will be more to your credit 
than possessing them. Probably due to 
the same circumstances you will eventu- 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 23 


ally gain friends, which fact will indicate 

they are principled and desirable acquisi¬ 
tions. 

***** 

FLOWER PERFECTION 

To the Beautiful Mutual Regard Between 
Mmde Adams and Charles Frohman 

Two souls sought the inspiration of new 
beauty, 

Met where broad, blue distances stray into 
azure smiles 

Shot with arrows of gold sped from the 
sky’s monarch; 

And from endless reaches of silence there 
sprang a rare essence 

Into sudden white light of a bloom. 

Musical waters hushed the song of their 
lacy foam 

And the wave yawned its grim relentless¬ 
ness: 

The plains of sea lulled again into peace¬ 
ful calm 


24 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


Above the high, fair spirit of a flower 
In the clear-hued light of the dawn. 

Like visible music it mounted, 

A high, sweet call o’er the scene; 

A veil of translucent splendor 
Had mellowed its glorious sheen. 
***** 

To be frank is always preferable to 
being deceitful. But doubtless unre¬ 
strained candor between friends is respon¬ 
sible for more ill feeling than is deception. 
Unless opinions can be stated with the 
intent of creating pleasure or satisfaction 
or with the object of proving an actual 
benefit, they are better left unexpressed. 
Some people take pride in their ability 
to be fearlessly and callously free with 
their friends. They regard it as their 
privilege, in the name of friendship, to 
deliver remarks recklessly, consigning 
repression to the winds. Association with 
this type of person is not anticipated or 
recalled with pleasure. When you wish 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 25 


to have the hours with your friends pleas¬ 
antly remembered do not be frank to the 
point of leaving the impression that a re¬ 
buke has been implied. Bluntness, as an 
attribute, sails falsely. Consideration in 
the extreme marks your friend of good 
breeding. 

***** 

Partiality, felt, is a wholly natural con¬ 
dition of mind. But partiality, dis¬ 
played, is contrary to social ethics and is 
pardonable on no occasion. All of us have 
our own preferences between friends. 
But only the inconsiderate and rude give 
expression to these differences of regard. 
It is well for one to establish and then 
rigidly to adhere to the habit of showing 
to all persons of his acquaintance a 
friendly courtesy with leisure and interest 
registered in voice and manner. If your 
attention is divided, your thoughts stray¬ 
ing because more pressing affairs are de¬ 
manding your time, the request to be ex¬ 
cused, briefly stating the reason, is far 


26 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


preferable to involving the risk of betray¬ 
ing an indifference that may cause a 
friend to doubt the sincerity of your 
regard. 

***** 

There is no phase of companionship 
more truly an inspiration to the observer 
than the beautiful friendship that springs 
between healthy-minded young girls with 
their lives, untried, stretching before 
them. Here is such a definite quality of 
spontaneity, such absolute openness in the 
exchanging of confidences, such decided 
expressions of pleasure over the intimacy, 
that joy of good-will and sheer delight in 
living seem to radiate in stimulating rays 
from their presence when they are to¬ 
gether. If one is frequently a witness to 
such manifestations of comradeship, by 
reason of the evidences of unalterable 
faith, he is inspired to dust from his mind 
all cobwebs of mistrust of his fellows and 
establish a feeling of genuine friendliness 
for all those with whom he comes in con- 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 27 


tact. If at times you feel that your faith 
in human nature is ebbing, if you are dis¬ 
heartened by the stale sameness of the 
minds which you encounter, if you ever 
think even momentarily that you are los¬ 
ing sight of your ideals, then you are 
sorely in need of association with minds 
that have not yet matured to adult pro¬ 
portions. Seek out two young girls 
between whom there exists a splendid 
friendship and devote one hour to their 
society. No morbid fears or doubts assail 
the confident mind of youth nor does a 
shadow dim its eye. 

***** 

INSPIRATION 

Lines on the Comradeship of Enrico 
Caruso and Antonio Scotti 

Harmony of hearts throbbed with a sweet, 
piercing pain, 

Escaped through the medium of pure 
golden tones; 

Rare strands of scintillating melody 


28 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


Strayed out beyond far, tinted hills 
To grace the burnished glory of the stars. 

The winds of eternity will sweep through 
cool, blue space; 

Centuries will pass and the stars remain 
undimmed: 

From gray, hushed heavens they will lean 
like jewels 

And imbue with their glorified radiance 
Souls that strain to still, dreaming heights 
Seeking eternal rapture 
Of song. 

* * * * * 

Probably there are vast numbers of 
people classed merely as acquaintances 
who, if their society were but cultivated, 
their characters probed and their true 
worth understood, would be valued as rare 
friends indeed. On many occasions the 
uneducated person with his uncouth ways 
and crudity of expression is passed by as 
undesirable as a friend simply because he 
has not the ready means of making a 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 29 

favorable appeal. He fails to possess the 
accomplishment of words, the advantages 
of appearance, that subtle charm born of 
good breeding. He does not dazzle the 
people with whom he comes in contact. 
Nor does he leave with those he meets 
the memory of a striking personality. 
Time alone may prove his desirability. 
Often an unexpected deed of kindness, 
proffered just when it is most needed, has 
revealed a friend in one who never has 
been regarded in that light. And some¬ 
times it is the spark of inner beauty shin¬ 
ing through a crude exterior that proves 
a torch of inspiration when long contact 
with a cultured environment has failed. 
Be considerate of those little-known souls 
whom you regard simply as acquaint¬ 
ances. One of them some day may serve 
you in a way that will endear you both 
for life. 

***** 

Just as youth requires mental contact 
with youth, so does age occasionally crave 


30 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


the rejuvenating effect derived from com¬ 
panionship with fresh young minds. 
Those persons of your acquaintance who 
are facing the sunset gate should not be 
reminded of this fact by your attitude 
toward them. They are quiet and retir¬ 
ing in your presence merely because they 
do not wish to intrude with unsolicited 
opinions and ideas. They really are 
vitally interested in many of the things 
in which you are absorbed. Compliment 
an aged person by approaching him indi¬ 
vidually, apart from the other members 
of his household. Talk earnestly on some 
subject, asking for his views and mani¬ 
festing real interest in his processes of 
thinking. And watch him respond with 
loving impulses to your advances. Then 
bring new light to his eyes and quicken 
his pulses by your request for stories per¬ 
taining to customs and incidents of his 
younger days. The result will be that you 
will rank high among his most cherished 
friends. Also, you may discover to your 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 31 


surprise a store of knowledge to be gained 
by thus associating with one of good ripe 
wisdom. 

***** 

Sometimes there is a queer, roving 
character in a neighborhood—a familiar, 
rambling figure that comes and goes, 
shirking responsibility and eking out an 
existence by no visible means. He is 
referred to with a chuckle and a wink of 
the eye. But as often this peculiar, shift¬ 
less individual has to his credit an 
achievement that many drawing-room 
devotees and captains of industry have 
failed to acquire—the simple trust and 
confidence of little children, the steadfast 
devotion of a dog. The circumstance is 
commented upon by amused residents— 
comfortable folk, happy in their assur¬ 
ance of respectability; who, in their un¬ 
ceasing struggle for material gains and 
for graces of manner that will reflect 
credit as parlor attributes, fail utterly to 
glimpse the vagabond’s kindly nature, the 


32 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


beauty of which to the untrained, unham¬ 
pered minds of children and animals is 
never hid by laxity in dress and etiquette. 
As you travel abroad on life’s highway in 
your quest for friendships characterized 
by genuineness, you will be passing one 
whom you earnestly seek if you fail to 
form an acquaintance with the man who 
wins the affection of children and dogs. 
When either of these respond to the ad¬ 
vances of a person it is because he is the 
possessor of a personality made radiant 
by some sterling quality, an attribute 
which is certain to hold appeal for you if 
you but seek it out. 

***** 

A GLIMPSE OP HEAVEN 

Godfrey Turner’s Friendship with Maud 
Powell 

It must have been that—that glimpse I 
caught 

Of some far-removed, unearthly spot. 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 33 


When a silvery strain by your hand set 
free 

Touched a vibrant chord in the soul of 
me; 

And my world-scarred thoughts, long of 
mortal things, 

Were lifted as though on visible wings, 

Cleansed as are grasses made clean by 
rain, 

Freed as ai*e winds when they sweep the 
plain. 

The clouds dispelled, came a place to view 

Where dwelt fair spirits of flowers and 
dew; 

Where the souls of poetry, music and art 

Walk arm-in-arm, could be told apart 

Only by frail, outer garments they chose, 

Each one a distinctive charm to disclose; 

And their pathway, suffused with a glori¬ 
ous light 

From eternal stars, rose beyond the sight; 

While behind them wherever their drap¬ 
eries trailed 

White blossoms the mould with their 
purity veiled. 


34 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


One brief, fleeting glimpse ere it all 
slipped away 

And the world came back to me, sordid 
and gray; 

But the friendship that sprang with that 
pure wealth of tone, 

Revealing its worth to our senses alone, 
Remains a sweet comrade each moment to 

fin, 

Though the bow and the hand and the 
heart are all still. 

***** 

The close relationship between a mother 
and daughter should never fail to form 
the base for the highest type of friend¬ 
ship. It is not essential that their inter¬ 
ests be identical, or that they desire to 
cultivate the same acquaintances, or that 
they even know the pleasure of close asso¬ 
ciation. A mother and her girl may be 
active in totally different pursuits, each 
choosing companions who hold no com¬ 
mon interest with the companions of 
the other, and they may be given the 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 35 


opportunity of meeting only on very rare 
occasions. But the beauty of the sacred 
bond between them need never become 
obscured or even so much as dulled by the 
varied conditions that arise in their daily 
lives. From the spiritual wealth of that 
bond emanate rays that can penetrate 
even those endless spaces stretching be¬ 
yond the veil that to most of us obscures 
the Unknown. We need only possess a 
balanced sense of values to recognize the 
union—spiritual, mental and physical—; 
that exists between a mother and her child 
as being paramount to every other bond 
of human relationship. And, its super¬ 
iority recognized, this tie becomes the 
foundation for a friendship forever to 
remain unequalled. Parent and child 
should exert a conscious effort to main¬ 
tain, undimmed by any influence whatso¬ 
ever, a high sense of appreciation for so 
priceless a friendship. 


36 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 

Ceaseless chattering between friends is 
a condition greatly to be deplored. Per¬ 
sons whose intimacy is based upon the 
highest spiritual plane, whose minds are 
wholly sympathetic, often find perfect 
understanding in silence. To them words 
are not necessary to create full harmony 
of thought. They can sit in the quiet of 
evening, each soul enjoying a sweetness 
of influence, each nature ripely respon¬ 
sive. Try giving some valued friendship 
the test of intimacy. Lapse into silence 
and observe whether ease and the under¬ 
standing of perfect sympathy will both 
prevail. 

***** 

A great deal of ill-feeling, remorse and 
on some occasions even severed friend¬ 
ships have been the result of uninten¬ 
tional misquoting. When repeating a 
friend’s remarks great care should be 
exercised not only to employ his precise 
words but, by means of the inflection and 
emphasis given, to convey the identical 


FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 37 


meaning that his words were intended to 
convey. The better policy is not to quote 
a friend unless one can do so accu¬ 
rately; and it is usually best not to re¬ 
peat at all. The chances of your own 
remarks being misquoted will be consider¬ 
ably lessened if you always take pains to 
make each shade of your meaning clear, 
leaving no vague impressions to be dis¬ 
torted by imaginative minds. 

***** 

Sometimes a beautiful friendship is 
allowed to lapse into a decline, stripped 
of all its glorious purposes and advan¬ 
tages, merely because there exist circum¬ 
stances which preclude one friend’s prof¬ 
fering explanations necessary to render 
understanding clear for another. Vague 
doubts assail the thoughts of the unen¬ 
lightened friend and gradually he yields 
to a belief of mistrust regarding the sin¬ 
cerity of his one-time comrade. Serious 
contemplation should be indulged in be¬ 
fore losing confidence in a friend for so 


38 FLOWER OF FRIENDSHIP 


slight a reason. Numerous are the condi¬ 
tions which may arise to prove the advis¬ 
ability of refraining from advancing full 
information regarding a matter. Do not 
he an exacting friend. It is more generous 
to receive only those explanations that are 
forthcoming and request no more, trust¬ 
ing your friends who desire to maintain 
silence, even though some of them may 
thus be concealing their deceptions, than 
to entertain the slightest doubt regarding 
the integrity and good intentions of one 
whose action is worthy. Remember that 
friendship, in its finest sense, is a trans¬ 
lucent light which is revealed only to 
those whose friendliness of soul is ready 
to receive it; that it must be denied en¬ 
trance if a dark suspicion blocks up the 
avenues. 















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